“Watch your thoughts, they become words;
watch your words, they become actions;
watch your actions, they become habits;
watch your habits, they become character;
watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
With the news of the recent Michelle Carter verdict, this saying came to mind. The key line is words become actions. If your kids are old enough, now is a good time to discuss this. And by old enough, I mean old enough to have a phone and text.
Michelle Carter is the young woman who was recently convicted of manslaughter for encouraging her boyfriend to commit suicide. She went so far as to order him back into his carbon monoxide filled truck to finish the deed. There is some debate as to whether her words are enough to deserve a manslaughter conviction, but there can be no doubt that her words led to actions.
So we must teach our children that words become actions, and actions have consequences. When I was young we used to chant "sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never harm me". Sounds good but it's not true. We all know words hurt, and some words can leave lasting scars. Our children need to know this as well. Just the same, our words can make people feel good. When you choose your words, you can choose to make someone feel good or bad. Choose wisely.
We must also go beyond teaching, we must show our children. When my son was about three, he was in his car seat as my wife was driving. A driver cut them off and my son blurted out "asshole". My wife asked him where he'd heard that and he proudly announced "Daddy!" That moment has left a lasting impression on me, and we must not only talk the talk, but walk the walk. We have to watch our words around our children.
We can also use this case to remind them that all it takes for evil to triumph is for good people to do nothing. If they hear of someone using their words or deeds to harm someone else, they need to take action. Tell an adult, be a force for good in this world, help someone else. And we need to demonstrate this whenever we can as well.
Some of us may think "my kid would never do anything remotely like this". But you never know, and by having these conversations, you can be a bit more sure your child never will.
